To My Future Husband

Dear Husband,

Was that you in my dream last night?  I hope so, you were everything I’d want, although the dream really centred around us having sex, you can tell a lot about a man by a sexual encounter.  You were indeed pleasing, in charge, respectful and responsible.  Quite different to my last few encounters which have had more of a desperate-passionate-we-only-live-once energy about them.  You mentioned our future and savoured the moment and would not tolerate an interruption, I liked that.  You were from Germany, slender, tall and mature in the emotional sense.

Yesterday C  and I were chatting about dating ‘at this stage of life’, commonly known as 33 years old.  I don’t think she meant to say it like that.  Just like parents, particularly first timers, don’t mean to obliterate your life into insignificance and hold it there until one day god willing you’ll have a child.  C, being married for 8 years now, added a fear that didn’t really exist , for me,around you.  She said, “I’m sure at this stage in your life you probably worry if someone could be in a relationship with you and not irritate you, because you must be so set on your path and established in your life purpose.”

I must say husband, I took it as a compliment to a certain extent.  To be 33 years old and acknowledged for not only knowing that I have a purpose, but being seen to be deeply established in it is a compliment, don’t you think?  I don’t really want to take on a new fear, as I have spent the last 8 years weeding out the fears from the darkened corners of my heart; current; and past lives and my ancestral lines; that may prevent you coming into my life.  So I’d really hate to adopt what I’m begging to think was merely a harmless comment.  I doubt whether you’d find me inaccessible so far down my path of purpose anyway, I don’t think you’d look for me anywhere else in fact!

Wifey.